The Special Person

It’s a wonder how a single person could turn your life that you thought wasn’t worth living anymore, into something that brings you more happiness than you could have ever imagined. As they say, life is full of ups and downs, but what if the ‘downs’ were more than you can take? What then? You turn to your loved ones but instead they turn their back on you and disappoint you even more. This is the time when God will grant you a gift, for you have prayed for a miracle, and that miracle came to you as silent as falling snow and as sweet as honey when you least expect it.

It all happened during the final year of high school. As usual, the major exam was coming up and everyone was stressing out. Including me, the person with mediocre grades and having to juggle my studies with the extra-curricular activities around me, I was incredibly stressed. And surprisingly enough, now that I think back, I realize that my studies weren’t the top priority at the time, and as usual, the pang of regret would be felt in my heart. I was always running around, busy with my public speaking competition, band wind orchestra and I was shock when I was told that I was chosen to go for the UIA debate-ing championship. To me, I totally sucked at debating but I guess I was cool and hot as they say ‘all over the place’. Maybe that was why I passed the audition. Moreover, the French Club, which included me, finally got the taste of France (not to mention exciting snow!) when our dream of flying to France came true during February.

The positive side of these activities were that I never had as much fun as I did at the time. But looking at another point of view, my results suffered horribly. I went lower than ever because I was barely in class and couldn’t really find myself to focus. And whenever I turned to two special people that I hoped would help me mentally, I was disappointed more than ever. And the second person I turned to, was the person who managed to straighten the crumpled and clustered strings in my brain. I never doubted his worth, even though I only knew him a year before my senior year. But being oblivious for what I should be grateful for, the problems that I faced during my senior year opened my eyes to what an amazing person he was. People can call us best friends, special friends, guy and girl, or anything that they preferred, but to me, we weren’t like normal people who had relationships and lived to love each other, we were special in the sense that we supported each other, smiled for each other and most importantly, understood each other. I was introduced of his existence last year, during a particular summer camp. I was excited to go as I was incredibly looking forward to have absolute fun with new friends. And yet, little did I know, what was offered to me was more than just ‘friends’. The days of camp passed by and I had so much fun, and during the last day, I received a note from a stranger. I never noticed him because he never came up to me to say even ‘hye’. So I was slightly surprised at how deep his note to me was. Until now I’m still in wonder why did I look twice at his note when I simply dismissed all the other notes given to me. Was it his neat handwriting? Or perhaps his neatness in writing on a test pad rather than a simple A4 paper? Or his sincerity? Or maybe it was as simple as chemistry. Whatever it is, it made me say ‘wow’. And as normal as any other person who received a ‘love note’, I was instantly curious and really wanted to know who this guy was. And as planned by the heavens above, his friend came up to me and told about his interest to get to know me better.

One thing that needs to said, is that I have been through a couple of problems that involves my family. The result of that is my lack of easily trusting people, in this case, especially guys. Obviously I’ve learnt that guys can’t be trusted and that their sincerity can be fully doubted. I’ve heard of numerous stories of lies being made and gazillions of hearts being broken by supposedly their ‘loved one’. But I guess time passed by fine as I kept that particularly sweet memory in this small brain of mine. I didn’t give him any contact number because it is really un-***ian like to do so. But I gave him my e-mail through the net. But honestly, not a second thought was laid on that subject.

A few months afterwards, I was at home (my usual rule-breaking period of time) surfing the net when he said ‘uitz’. Actually I deleted him from my contacts because it’s been months and no word. And I decided that he wasn’t sincere after all. But we chatted that night and I got to know him a little better, and we exchanged stories and as everyone says ‘talk crap’. But I also got a lot of other information as well. I was starting to get hints that he liked me more than a friend. Somehow I detected it with his words but again ‘can guys be trusted? No!’ But as time flew by, we chatted more and in the end, a particular incident involving the subway made my heart to open up and give him my number. But of course with the strict rule that it’s not something that can be passed around like hot cakes.

So as time passed by, I kept getting more and more hints of him liking me and in the end, he confessed of what I thought was true. I wasn’t surprised but I didn’t know what to say. We contacted each other normally and he became one of the most closest people in my life. And to my least expectation, I found myself falling for him, which in fact was something that I was trying my best not to do! But honestly, who was there when I was extremely pressured with my family problem? He was. Who was there to comfort me when I was having a conflict with my best friends? He was. Who supported me during the time I was disappointed of not getting the scholarship that I targeted for? All in all.. He has been there by my side through thick or thin for nearly two years. Not only that, he made and is still making my days brighter than it would have been two years ago. Surprises were constantly made to make me smile until my face hurt. He was such a nice person. And sweet as ever, with a sudden rose propped in front of me given by him, and a card posted to me spontaneously just ‘because’. He made the little things in life seem bigger than the universe. Whenever we hung out to watch a movie or eat lunch, he would do the simplest things just to make me smile. And gosh, did I smile then! I think I must have looked like a maniac grinning from ear to ear. And I noticed that whenever I came back from hanging out with him, I’d be extremely happy and there would be this glow around me, like everything was going my way. He spoilt me horribly and I felt like a little child given everything I wanted.

And during the worst time of my senior year, the time I didn’t get the scholarship I wanted, and cancelled what I promised. I promised to meet him to break our fast together as it was after all the first time of Ramadhan to spend together and it was fun to experience it together. He was so excited and was so eager to see me. And I also promised a date after Raya wearing our national costumes, because dressing up and doing different things would make life more interesting. But due to my horrible disappointment, I vowed to change more than ever to pass my examination. And even though I knew how big these two dates meant to him, I cancelled it and apologized greatly. And instead of feeling down and showing me his disappointment, he gave his full support in my exam and said there would be other times to hang out. He reminded me to pray and study balancely and he gave me the strength by feeling inferior to his achievements. His belief in me boosted my spirits and I know that he is the cause of my determination.

I daresay that this single human has made a drastic change in my life. He has been my best friend, my companion, my worst opponent and the most amazing person in my life. Even though I can be paranoid and grumble and get angry at such petty things, he would be patient and calm me down and tell me that everything would be alright. He sacrificed being scolded just to see me. And he didn’t even mind meeting me even though he was suffering from flu due to him missing me too much. And whenever I fell sick, he would be extremely worried and he would the one who reminded me to eat my medicine and to enjoy life. I still keep everything he gave to me; every single rose, card and even the wrapper of the first chocolate bar he gave me. People say that you can never forget the first love in your life. I can say this statement is true. I know that I’ll never forget this amazing person who came into my life at my time of sorrow, turning my frown upside down, giving me hope when I thought nothing would come through, and giving my tree of life a drink to rejuvenate. And for that, these memories I keep close to my heart. Locked that can’t be freed for my gratefulness and appreciation is larger than infinity itself.

(Inspired from Growing Up with Ghosts by Bernice Chauly)

Tuesday, 4 December, 2012, 10:06 AM